Networking Through the Holidays

by Terri Lonier

The holidays bring numerous parties and other gatherings that can be a good time for soloists to extend their networks and lay groundwork for future business opportunities. How do you navigate these events and make them work for you? Here are some tips:

1. Consider the context.
Keep in mind that holiday gatherings are different from business networking meetings. While your neighbor's in-law may be the CEO of a firm you've been wanting to work with, pitching him or her in the midst of the school holiday pageant may not be in your best interest. Be sensitive to the context of the event, and don't push your business agenda too hard. In general, the more senior the executive, the less he or she will talk about business at a social function. Instead, they get to know people, and if you intrigue them with your interests and insights, they will ask you to follow up.

2. Do some homework.
Before attending an event, try to determine at least some information about who will be there, and how they are connected to the host(s). Mentally prepare some questions that you can rely on if you find yourself in a lagging conversation. And it always helps to know what topics to avoid with specific people, if that's an issue.

3. Let light conversation carry the weight.
Instead of launching into an elevator pitch about your business, sprinkle a few comments into your conversation to gauge interest. For example, a reply to "What's new?" may be something concise, yet intriguing, such as "I've just heard back from my designer about a project I've been working on." If the person's eyes glaze over, move on to another topic. But if they ask about the designer or the project, continue the conversation in short bites of information, so it's a give-and-take exchange.

4. Avoid the dive-bombing cliché of "What do you do?"
Many entrepreneurs are singularly focused on business, and are interested in what other people do for a living. But starting a conversation with a query about their work or position can be seen as rude, if not incredibly mundane and boring. Sometimes it's OK to spend a few moments chatting about the weather. Circle around to business topics in a more gracious manner.

5. Recognize the communal anxiety.
The holidays bring out memories and emotions that can be stressful for many people. While you may think you're the only one at a festive gathering who feels out of place, chances are very high that many of the attendees share your discomfort. So while you're positive they're staring at you, they're really only thinking about themselves -- unless, of course, you truly do something noteworthy, like upending the gallon of eggnog on the newly installed carpeting.

6. Business cards only upon request.
If someone is sincerely interested in your business and requests a business card, offer it. Similarly, if you'd like to followup with someone, ask for their card. For the most part, however, keep those cards in your pocket. Remember that most holiday gatherings are festive social events, not transaction centers. If you want to track someone down later, you can always follow up with the host(s).

7. Attitude is key.
Most of all, lighten up. Sometimes a party is just a party. Get clear on your expectations, and keep an open mind about the potential. I generally approach holiday events with the anticipation that I'm going to have some interesting conversations on topics I'm not expecting. Ask a lot of questions and try to be an attentive listener. You'll find the time flies by, and you'll be surprised at what you've learned on subjects you knew little about just a few hours earlier.

For example, one evening I recall listening for nearly an hour as an astrophysicist spoke about his research. I kept asking "layperson" questions, since my knowledge of astronomy and physics is fairly basic, and I was fascinated by the researcher's work. As the conversation finally ended, the person next to me whispered to a friend, "Can you believe how boring that guy was?" I was stunned, because it wasn't boring to me. It's all in how you frame the experience. So at the end of a party, realize that some future business may come of it, but most of all celebrate that you've expanded your knowledge of the world in some way.

With these guidelines in mind, may your holiday gatherings be merry. Recognize that as a soloist at least you've escaped mandatory office parties and alcohol-induced hijinks that cause later regret!



Copyright 2006 Terri Lonier. All rights reserved.
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